What kind of parent do I want to be? Why?
If I do ever become a parent, I would want to be a parent like my parents now. My parents are not perfect, we fight and sometimes I feel like they don’t understand how I feel but they’ve taught me so much and I’m really thankful to have parents that care for me. My mother is a very independent and strong-willed person, I can tell her about bad days and people that made me mad and she would just nod her head, no words said, but its enough to know that someone cares enough to listen to you talk about things. Thats the kind of parent I want to be. And my father, who fetched me to my secondary school everyday, sacrificing his sleep so I don’t have to squeeze onto the bus packed with other students. Thats also the kind of parent I want to be. I think sometimes we overlook these small little things our parents do for us, we take these small things for granted. I can’t tell what kind parent I will be in the future, but I’ll definitely care for my kids just like my parents care for me. The unconditional love that my parents give me, I’m very thankful for.
Being a teenager now, I go through lot of things, I meet a lot of people and I feel a lot of things. To think that if I do ever have a child in the future, they will probably go through this phase that I’m in now. So here are a few things I’ll probably tell them when they reach their teenager stage:
Don’t apologise for what you feel
I literally live by this now. A lot of the time, I feel indifferent about a lot of things and I am often called weird and people make fun of me because of that. I used to care so much about what other people would say if I talked about my opinions of things that invalidated what I felt, but as time went by, I realise that my views about things matter to me and they are valid and most importantly, mine. Don’t apologise for feeling sad at a party where everyone is supposedly happy, don’t apologise if they start calling you a “party pooper” because your feelings are valid. Don’t apologise if you feel offended because you felt like the comment your friend just said to you rude and insensitive. Basically, don’t apologise because for what you feel.
Slow down and appreciate the art/create things
Being someone who expresses myself through drawing/painting, art is very important to me, its takes my stress away and its very therapeutic. I have an art journal that I use quite often and I feel like in the future when I look at it, it can remind me of certain memories that mean a lot to me. That to me, is very important, I like to create things and see what others have created, it makes me understand myself better. There’s this photographer named Paolo Raeli, and he said this “I am not afraid of getting old, I am afraid of forgetting how it’s like to be this young. that’s why I take a ridiculous amount of pictures everyday. I am scared of forgetting” It made me think a lot and appreciate the things I create more no matter how ugly I think it is because in the future, it will remind of the people I love and memories that I’d probably have forgotten.
Do the homework and spend time with your family
In my secondary school, there was a group of students who always didn’t do the homework and are always super proud of it because they thought that education isn’t important so one thing I would tell my kids in the future is that education IS important and doing the homework IS cool despite what the other “cool” kids say. Also, my family is really important to me and its important to spend time with them. So, if I have kids in the future, I would want to be a parent who would make time for the family.